“Where is it?” I thought as I frantically looked through my purse. The sermon was about to begin and I couldn’t find my pen. It had mysteriously disappeared into the bottomless pit in my purse.
After some serious digging I finally found it. Hopefully I hadn’t missed anything important. With my pen in hand I got comfortable and looked over at my daughter who happened to be sitting next me.
Apparently I had missed quite a bit during my digging expedition. My daughter was sitting there with a bag of Goldfish in her lap. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a little inconspicuous zip lock baggy a mother would sneak in to keep her two-year old quiet. No, she had brought the large bag of Goldfish with the logo plastered all over it. The kind you leave at home. In the pantry….
I watched her sit there munching as if she did not have a care in the world. She looked like she was in a movie theater waiting for the feature film to start. It didn’t look like she was waiting for the sermon to begin. Looking around I realized everyone else could see what my daughter was doing. I imagined them thinking I was the kind of mother who let her children run wild. I was horrified. Out of anger, I yelled, gave her a good tongue lashing, and made her put them away.
I tried to turn my attention back to what the preacher was saying, but it was no use. There wouldn’t be any note taking today, I was too mad. Glancing back at my daughter to ensure she had dutifully put the Goldfish back in her purse, I caught her wiping a tear from her cheek.
My heart sank. That tear was brought on by the harsh words I had spoken. I sat there wishing I could take back those hurtful words I carelessly spat out in anger, but I knew I couldn’t. This was definitely one of my not-so-fabulous-mama-moments.
I did not feel like a mom whose children were going to arise and call her blessed(Proverbs 31:28).
I felt like the mom whose children were going to call her something else….
So what did this not-so-fabulous-mama do? The only thing I could do. I went before my Oh-So-Fabulous-Heavenly-Father and asked for forgiveness and wisdom on what to do next.
In Ephesians 6:4 it says, “Fathers, (and Mothers), don’t exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master.” The first half of this verse tells us it’s not necessary to yell in anger to get our point across. The second half tells us to live out our lives in a way that teaches our children to take on the characteristics of Christ.
My angry outburst did not model the character of Christ, but what God led me to do next did. When we got home from church I took my daughter aside and apologized for my angry outburst. Admitting you’re wrong is never easy but it’s the right thing to do. And I’m glad I did it.
Not long after the “Goldfish Incident” as my daughter and I like to call it, she handed me a card. And inside the card was a little hand written note that read, “I’m glad God gave me you as a mom.”
There is no such thing as a perfect mom. No matter how hard we try, we are going to have those not-so-fabulous-mama-moments. The real test is how we handle ourselves after those moments. I may not be the perfect mom, but I’m her mom…..
Thank you for following along today. I hope you were encouraged by my words. I pray they inspire you to speak words that encourage others to blossom. ~Kelly
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