No one will like me if they know the truth.
Are you worried what others will think if they find out your past isn’t blemish free? Do you go to great lengths to keep it a secret?
The fear of judgment can make us do crazy things.
Its intimidating power can force us to make irrational decisions, causing us to take drastic measures to hide our past.
I didn’t want anyone to know what I had done.
This may sound strange to you, but there was a time when I was afraid to tell people my age. I was ashamed and fearful of what others would think once they knew the truth. Knowing my age would allow them to figure out I was only sixteen when I got pregnant with my son. Keeping my age a secret made me feel secure. As long as they didn’t know about my past, they couldn’t judge me.
It isn’t good to be alone.
Driven by my fear of judgment I kept everyone at a distance. I thought I was protecting myself by trying to control the situation, but in reality, my fear was controlling me. My desperate attempt to shield myself from the pain judgment so often brings, left me isolated and lonely.
God didn’t create us to be alone (see Gen. 2:28). He may allow seasons of loneliness in our lives for various reasons, but he never meant for us to purposefully live that way (Read more about it here). God wants us to live in community with each other. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says, “two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” In short, we are better together.
Be a risk taker.
We have to be willing to take a risk and let people in. Otherwise, we will miss out on all of the blessings that come from friendships and relationships.
Will it be scary? Yes.
Will it be hard? Yes.
Will it be worth it? Yes, the risk is worth the reward!
If someone does judge you because of your past, don’t let that stop you from allowing people in. Who knows, perhaps He is using your story to work on the other person to help them grow. Eventually, God will bring the right people into your life.
With God, anything is possible.
The scriptures tell us to not fear because God is with us; he will help us, strengthen us, and never let us fall (Isaiah 41:10). I still struggle sometimes, but with God, by my side, I have learned to battle my fear and let people in. And I’m so glad I did because God has brought some special people into my life. If I hadn’t taken a chance and let them get to know me, I would still be sitting there with my shield up. Alone.
Join the conversation: Do you find it hard to let others in? What’s holding you back?
I was inspired to write this post by a book I recently read. It reminded me of the lengths we will go to cover our up pasts. Read my book review.