Why didn’t they choose me?

Why didn't they pick me. What to do when you feel overlooked, left out, and unappreciated.

Have you ever felt left out? Unappreciated? Forgotten?

Being left out hurts….

Disappointment crept in as I read the message from my friend. There was a new project getting ready to start at church. I longed to be a part of this project and I desperately hoped they would ask me to help. When my friend shared she had been asked to help instead, I was heart-broken.

I didn’t understand why I wasn’t chosen to help. Was I not good enough? Did they not like me? Did they think I wouldn’t be able to handle it? Or worse, what if they didn’t even consider me for the position at all?

As I pondered all of the reasons why I might not have been chosen, the wheels of negativity started spinning in my head. My thoughts were driving my emotions over the edge fast. If I didn’t get them under control I was going to end up taking a wrong turn down Angry Lane. What I needed to do was get directions.

When unsure of which way to go, it’s wise to stop and ask for directions.

It’s easy to get lost in our emotions when things don’t go the way we want them to. When I wasn’t chosen to help I felt like unfriending my friend and never going back to church again. That may seem extreme, but in the heat of the moment it’s exactly what I felt like doing.

If the enemy sees us in an emotionally vulnerable state of mind he will pounce without warning. While I was busy worrying why I wasn’t chosen, the enemy was busy whispering his lies. He loves to make us think we aren’t good enough, strong enough, or worthy enough. And he would have loved nothing more than to have seen me isolate myself from my friend and my church. Thankfully it didn’t come to that.

In Lysa TerKeurst’s book Unglued she says, “Feelings should be indicators, not dictators.” We don’t have to let our emotions control us. We have a choice. We can choose to seek God’s wisdom. All we have to do is ask.  James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”

Garden Pathway Proverbs 3 5-6It’s important to seek God’s truth in every situation.

When I brought my disappointed, hurt, emotional heart to the Lord, he was quick to remind me that he has a plan and a purpose for me (Jeremiah 29:11). It may not look the way I expect it to, but it’s a good plan and it’s better than anything I could ever come up with on my own (Isaiah 55:8). I may not ever know exactly why I wasn’t chosen to help with that particular project, but I can trust God had a good reason for it (Proverbs 3:5-6).

God always has a good reason for everything he does.

I’ve been looked over, not chosen, and told “No” dozens of times over the years. But not without good reason. God always has our best interest at heart. Here are a few things to consider:

1. Maybe you’re not ready. God knows us better than we know ourselves. He won’t release us to take on something new until we are mentally and spiritually ready. If we aren’t ready we may crumble under the pressure of the role.

2.God has something else for you to do. God can see things we can’t. There may be something down the road he wants us to do. If we were to take on this role we probably wouldn’t be able to do the other one.

3.It may not be the right time. God’s timing is always perfect. This may not be the right time to take on a new role for us or our family. It may add unnecessary stress to our life, preventing us from giving everything the attention it deserves.

4.It would have hindered you from using your gifts. God knows where our gifts will bring him the most glory. He wants us in roles that utilize our gifts. If we’re in a role that stifles our gifts we won’t be able to serve Him to the best of our ability.

Chances are, you have experienced something similar. Maybe you weren’t picked to be the “room mom” for your child’s class or perhaps you didn’t get the promotion you were hoping for. Whatever it was you weren’t chosen for, remember that God has a good and perfect reason. You may not ever know the “Why”, but you can trust it was for your protection.

Growing Deeper:

Do you struggle with trusting that God has a plan and purpose for your life?

Read Jeremiah 29:11 God does have a purpose and plan for you. And it’s a good one!

Read Psalm 121:7 How does it make you feel knowing that God watches over you and protects you? We can put our trust in the Lord. Even when it doesn’t feel like it, He is always watching over us.

Let’s Pray:

Lord I thank you for your wisdom and protection on my life. I ask that you guide my steps as I make my way through this world. Your word tells me that you give wisdom to those who ask for it (James 1:5). Help me to remember to seek your wisdom when my emotions start to get out of control. Your word says that you have a plan and a purpose for my life (Jeremiah 29:11). Help me to walk in this truth when things don’t go the way I want them to. In Jesus name I pray Amen!

Join The Conversation:

Have you ever gotten a “no” about something you wanted to do and later realized it was actually Gods protection?  Please share in the comments.

If you are looking for a good bible study I invite you to join us for the next Proverbs 31 Online Bible study #Ungluedbook. For more details or to sign up Click Here.

Today I’m linking up with #IntentionalTuesday and #DanceWithJesus.



13 thoughts on “Why didn’t they choose me?

  1. Angela says:

    Thanks for this wonderful posting. I’ve gotten a lot of “no’s” recently and was bewildered as to why. Needless to say, I automatically scanned my previous actions to see “what did I do” or “what could I have done better.” Sometimes we’ll never know why, but have to learn that God knows better.

  2. Susan B Mead says:

    Have you ever taken a wrong turn down Angry Lane? Powerful!!!

    Thank you for joining the DanceWithJesus linkup Kelly. Hugs. Susan

  3. IntentionallyPursuing.com says:

    Kelly, I have seen God’s protection in what felt like a rejection. It was hard to wait on God’s timing. I couldn’t understand why it was taking so long. But in the waiting God strengthened me, and looking back I understand His timing was perfect. Thank you, Kelly, for sharing your heart at #IntentionalTuesday on Intentionally Pursuing. : )

    • Kelly Basham says:

      Waiting is the hard though isn’t it? We just need to keep reminding ourselves He has plan and He is working it all out. Thank you for stopping by Crystal.

  4. Christa says:

    Kelly, this is so good. Such wisdom and things I need to remember. I have definitely had those “left out” feelings lately as well. You’ve given me great things to think about and encouraged me!

Comments are closed.