Wounds of a Friend
by Enid Bozic
“Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.” – Proverbs 17:9 [ESV]
Recently, I was hurt by a close friend that I trusted. Even though I’ve been down this road before, it still doesn’t feel good. My natural response is to make a vow that I won’t let anyone in my heart again. But if I do that, I’ll miss the opportunity to truly love a person and enjoy the friendship, no matter how long that relationship lasts. After all, we have to take the risk of being wounded in order to possibly build a friendship that may last a lifetime.
Once the anger subsides, I have to choose to forgive the friend who has caused the hurt. Then decide if the relationship is worth saving, worth rebuilding trust again because forgiveness doesn’t mean that trust is automatically restored. I think sometimes we tend to force ourselves to trust because we feel that it’s the right thing to do. However, that isn’t what God asks of us. He only asks us to forgive others as He has forgiven us (Eph. 4:32).
God only asks us to forgive others as He has forgiven us. –Tweet this!
That’s why covering an offense is so important. It is the way of love, of not slandering nor withholding forgiveness, which ultimately will separate us from other friends who are truly good and loving in our lives. But in seasons of betrayal and broken trust, it’s so difficult to keep our hearts open. Plus, we have an enemy who would like nothing better than to have us believe all kinds of lies about the situation, lies that are like poisonous darts, clouding our ability to discern and to choose a heart response that would give God glory.
If you are in that place of agonizing over a lost friendship and have a hard time forgiving, you are not alone. Pray these words:
“Father God, show me your wisdom to know what to do in this situation. I trust you to direct my steps and to heal my heart towards __________. I forgive ___________ for hurting me and betraying me. I pray that you would change my heart to see her/him the way you do. Work in my heart to either try to rebuild trust or to let it go. And help me God to continue to take risks when it comes to friendship. In Jesus name I pray, Amen!”
Enid Bozic loves to write about ordinary women doing extraordinary things around the world. You can read about these women at www.imperishablebeauty.org or join her Instagram tribe. She is mama to a toddler who likes to wear his fedora hat while playing his toy guitar and whenever she is around her hunky husband of 4 years, she becomes a giddy teenager again.
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My emotions tend to get a little out of control after I’ve been hurt by a friend. My initial reaction is to write them off as a friend forever. I love that Enid’s words encourage us to seek God’s wisdom on how to handle the situation after the anger subsides. Thank you for sharing your words with us Enid. ~Kelly