Sometimes, I feel like a two-year-old.
When my children were little they each went through a phase when they wanted to do everything by themselves. They thought they were big enough to handle it without mama’s help. “I do it!” they would say. And if I didn’t allow them to do it by themselves, there was usually a temper tantrum in the very near future.
Sometimes, I’m just like my children. I don’t like to ask others for help. I like to think I’m big enough, smart enough, and strong enough to handle everything on my own. I too have an I Do It mentality when comes to getting things done. I might not throw a temper tantrum if I don’t get my way, but I do balk at the idea of seeking others out for help.
Why is it so hard to ask for help? Asking for help requires us to lay down our pride. It insists we make ourselves vulnerable. It nudges us to gently walk in humility and admit we can’t do it all on our own. These requirements are contrary to our sinful nature and therefore spring our prideful mentality into action.
“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1:7 ESV
If you were to peel back the layers of my heart you would see that my hesitation to ask for help is driven by fear. Deep down I’m afraid I’ll appear weak, incapable, foolish, and unsuccessful. 2 Timothy 1:7 reminds us that fear is not from the Lord. These unwarranted fears bring on a prideful mentality and prevent me from seeking the help I most desperately need. My fears leave me thinking I have something to prove and I can’t help but think things like, “If you were really strong, you wouldn’t need to ask others for help. A successful person would be able to do it all by themselves. What if they think I’m a weakling?”
What has this kind of thinking given me? Nothing.
Where has this kind of thinking taken me? Nowhere.
When has this kind of thinking helped me? Never.
God didn’t intend for us to handle everything on our own; he created us to live in community with others. Our good and faithful God knew we would end up feeling isolated, exhausted, and depleted if we tried to do everything by ourselves. God’s plan is for us to work together, each depending on the other. Refusing to seek the help of those God has placed in our lives is prideful.
How do we overcome this prideful mentality? We want our thoughts to honor the Lord. Pride is a sin; thinking prideful thoughts do not honor the Lord or bring Him glory. If we have been harboring prideful thoughts in our heart, we must first and foremost, go to God to confess, repent, and ask Him for forgiveness. Once we’ve done that we can work on changing our thinking.
How do we change our thinking? We exchange our prideful thoughts for God’s life-giving truths. We grab hold of every haughty argument, prideful opinion, or pretentious thought in our head that comes against what we know to be true about God and make it obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5 paraphrased) In order to do this, we must get in the scriptures to see what God’s word says about our old prideful thoughts so that we can replace them with new life-giving ones.
Once we have found these scriptures we will need to daily drink in their life-giving nourishment in order to absorb their truths. But we can’t stop there! With these new life-giving truths before us, we must by faith, obediently choose to believe them.
Here are a few examples of how to exchange our old prideful thoughts for new life-giving ones:
Old Prideful thought: A successful person wouldn’t ask for help.
God’s word says: “Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honor.” Proverbs 29:23 NIV
New Life-giving thought: Admitting I can’t do it all by myself isn’t wrong, it’s honorable. —Tweet this
Old Prideful thought: A wise person wouldn’t seek advise.
God’s word says: “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” Proverbs 15:22 NIV
New Life-giving thought: Admitting I need the council of others demonstrates great wisdom. —Tweet this
Old Prideful thought: Asking for assistance will make me look weak in the eyes of others.
God’s word says: “The fear of man brings a snare, But he who trusts in the LORD will be exalted.” Proverbs 29:25 NASB
New Life-giving thought: Asking for assistance doesn’t make me look weak, it shows I boldly and courageously trust the Lord. —Tweet this
Old Prideful thought: A capable individual doesn’t need to ask for help.
God’s word says: “And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:2-4 ESV
New Life-giving thought: Allowing others to help me isn’t a sign of someone who’s incapable, it’s a sign of someone with great confidence and strength. —Tweet this
Is your “I Do It” mentality preventing you from seeking help? Are you worn out from trying to prove you can do it alone? Is fear holding you back? Remember that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness; its sign of strength. You don’t have to wear yourself out trying to prove you can do it all. Humbly asking for help is a sign of a confident, intelligent, capable woman. —Tweet this
Let’s lay down our old prideful mentalities, fill ourselves up with God’s life-giving truths, and choose to believe them. Let’s boldly walk in humility and confidently ask for help when we need it. Will you join me? It may seem foreign at first, but the more we practice doing it, the easier it will become.
A humble woman is a confident woman. —Tweet this
Thank you for joining me. I have enjoyed learning more about Gentleness with you! This article concludes our study on the Fruit of Gentleness. This has been a part of my current series, Sweet Smelling Fruit—Cultivating a Heart that Lives by the Spirit.
What’s next? We will pick back up with our series in September and take a closer look at the Fruits of Kindness and Goodness. Is this your first time here? I invite you to join us as we dig in to learn more about the Fruits of the Spirit! Subscribe to my weekly newsletter to stay up to date on future posts and when new freebies become available.
~Kelly
That is nice! And my name is Joseph and I see from the time I was younger to now. It seem’s because I didn’t do as you recomend. I have driffted far from my creator and yes the one’s I love too. I didn’t know! You brought up great point’s. I need to take a look at my life, and change it. It seem’s I went down the wrong road. And now I have to travel out of it an get back on the road to a healthier life. I like what you put together, and the other coment’s.
Thank you Joseph. It’s easy to drift away, which is why it’s so important to guard our hearts in Jesus. Praying that you stay close to God and seek Him in all you do!
Love this, Kelly! I needed this reminder in the midst of back to school chaos!
Looking forward to your Sept series on kindness and goodness! Thanks again for offering to incorporate my post!
Blessings!
Thank you Allison! I remember those crazy back to school days. 🙂
I am looking forward to sharing your post. I will be in touch soon and let you know exactly when I’ll be sharing it!
I think mine was and still may be a little fear, even though I know what it is. With computers, I was so reluctant, I learned but you still get those, “You mean you don’t know how to…” instead of, ” Here let me help. ” I explain what I have learned as easily as I can to others and even the same with the Bible as simply as possible. No one likes be ridiculed. We can all help each other.
I have experienced that same type of ridicule Rebecca. Unfortunately not everyone is gentle with those who seek their help. All we can do is handle it gracefully and choose not to allow the situation to prevent us from seeking help the next time.