Confessions From a Former Friendless Girl

_You have distanced loved one and neighbor from me; darkness is my only friend._ Psalm 88_18(2)

You have distanced loved one and neighbor from me; darkness is my only friend.” Psalm 88:18 (HCSB)

There are times in life when we feel as if we don’t have one single friend in the world. Loneliness can be a painful place–a dark place full of sorrow and heartache.

The truth is, we weren’t created to be alone. We were designed to be together; together we can accomplish more.  Genesis 2:18 says, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” God desires for us to be connected to other people and have meaningful relationships.

If that’s true, why does God allow seasons of loneliness in our lives?

During my own seasons of loneliness, I learned a few things.

1. God wants to take first place in our lives. God always has our best interest at heart, but if our relationships with others take priority over our relationship with him, he may bring us to a place where we aren’t as involved with others.

Sometimes a good dose of isolation is exactly what we need to put us back on track. – Tweet this!

2. God wants us to grow in our faith. Outside influences could potentially sway us to spend less time in prayer and God’s word.  If the people we’re hanging out with cause us to take our focus off of Jesus and stunt our spiritual growth, God may allow those relationships to fizzle out.

3. God wants to push us out of our comfort zone. The people we’re involved with (our friends, spouses, family members, etc…) can hinder us from following Gods lead. God wants us to be ready and willing to boldly answer his call. If we are so comfortable with our surroundings and relationships that they deter us from stepping out in faith, God will take drastic measures to get us where he wants us.

If you are in a season of loneliness, don’t worry. God won’t leave you in the dark pit of isolation forever. When the time is right, and when you least expect it he will bring you back into the light of the social world. He has heard your cry and is working out everything for your good and His Glory.

Remember, we are never really alone. Jesus is always right beside us (Zephaniah 3:17; Joshua 1:9; Hebrews 13:5).


Lord, help me to grow and learn from you during the season of loneliness. Help me to be patient during this time. May I find comfort in the relationship I have with you. I trust you have my best interest at heart and are working out everything for my good and your glory. Amen!”

Today I am linking up with  IntentionallyPursuingTuesdays TimeWarpWife #DanceWithJesus


11 thoughts on “Confessions From a Former Friendless Girl

  1. Laura Hicks says:

    Kelly, I’m in the beginning of empty nest and have feared the loneliness but God is SO good. He’s guided me back into a deeper relationship with Him and it’s awesome. Great post! #IntentionalTuesday

    • Kelly Basham says:

      God is good! I am not far behind you Laura. We drop my son off at college this Spring and my daughter is in her senior year of high school. Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  2. Groundbreakers says:

    “Outside influences can cause us to spend less time in God’s Word…” That is exactly where I’ve been, Kelly. Such an encouraging post about such a discouraging season that we all seem to pass through at one time or another. Thank you for your transparency and for sharing such a touching and hope-filled post. Visiting today as your neighbor in #DanceWithJesus Friday linkup.

    • Kelly Basham says:

      Hi there. It’s nice to meet another #DanceWithJesus friend.Yes, outside influences can really affect our relationship with the Lord. Even the good ones. I have had to learn this the hard way more than once. Thanks for stopping by and I hope to chat with you again. 🙂

  3. Wise Hearted says:

    There have been very few times I have been lonely in my life since I am such a people person. But a couple of times I have been put in a place without my friends and I found that hard. Because of missionary living we are always saying hello and goodbye and after a while you just don’t want to build another relationship that you have to say goodbye to. This is a good post.

    • Kelly Basham says:

      Thanks. It’s hard to live so far away from family & friends. I can relate. I lived over seas once. Not as a missionary, but as a young mother and military wife. It was hard making new relationships. God definitely pushed me out of my comfort zone during that time in my life. Happy to meet you and thank you for stopping by! I look forward to chatting with you again.

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